Swirling around in the light

Wrestling with angels, demons, questions, whatever......

I've always pictured the wrestling with the questions in some way where I was wrestling with an angel, a physical being of some sort with wings and everything, because this is part of what we do as theologians. I feel like I've always heard of it, and now I really like it, because it feels like something I've always done - just asking myself a series of questions until perceptions shift or change or come back to where they were in the first place. Oh the wrestling with questions of this class is truly what has taken me to the next level of my own personal spiritual evolution.

So do you allow hands on healing at your church?

It's sorta funny to me, because I grew up in Unity, and so, the parts of my childhood Unity always feel like what Unity really "is". One thing we did every year was go to a family retreat in the mountains of North Carolina and there was a variety of hands on healing services offered, and therefore, this must be a part of what Unity really is. 

So where does the light come from? Where does the energy come to?

For most of my life, in meditation, I have felt energy moving in and through my hands. I can feel energy off of objects and in the energy in rooms. With that, I have "sent" prayers through me, and never had I really thought of that as anything different. If energy moves through my hands, of course we could have hands on healing because to me, that's just apart of what we are apart of.

Oooh no, channeling?

This could not possibly be the fear people have of channeling, so I think, because the energy is coming from a divine source. It's not weird words from some ancient and wise being far away. This is the essense of God. But I could see how it can be seen as channeling, until I think of meditations of light.

But what about meditations of light? Light comes through you...

Something I have always defined as super Unity (again because we did it in my child hood) is meditations of light. So, the idea goes something like this, we are all meditating and then we take the love, light, energy, whatever, from our hearts, connect it together, send it out to our city, state, country, world, universe, etc. So, if hands on healing, is energy moving through your hands, how is this medtiation any different?

It's all the same to me... energy of hands and energy/light moving through us...

That is really how I see it, that this is all the same, same energy, same love, same light. When hands on healing is happening, we are asking for the healing love of God to move through us, and heal someone else. Yes, this could happen directly, but sometimes we are conduits for energy. I can see how each person could ask for it directly, but sometimes using this light, this peace, this joy, through someone who may be a more willing conduit than I can be during a time of healing... I can accept that. I can "buy" that. Far beyond either of these ideas, when I really do think of this, what I really think of is the fact that, it's worked for me and lots of other people that I know, and the proof is "in the pudding" so to speak. If this is effective and I have "felt" the healing energy move through me, then who's to say why it works. But it has been very effective, and this has been a good reason for me to decide that when I have a church, I would allow hands on healing, because I do feel like it fits with who we are.

Can you have a good life without God? Oh and what is a good life?

What is a good life?

For awhile I lived in New York City, and sometimes I would walk around the city itself, just in such complete judgment of it. It was gross, it was stinky, it smelled like urine and beer, and other gross things. It had graffiti. Parts of it were dangerous but just so many parts of it were gross. I remember once talking to people that lived there - this was their home. They weren't waiting for something that I would love - the beautiful coasts of Hawaii, the scenic mountains - this and only this - the city that I called stinky and gross, was their favorite place. I think a lot about where we "go" when we die, and in many ways I think that we go to some version of the world that we live in. I would say if that's the case, there are millions of people who go to the stinky parts of New York City. I've seen them live in their heaven on earth, and somehow the concrete jungle in that moment transcends what you see on the surface the happy life that you first arrive. 

Which still doesn't define a good life...

Because it's hard to define what is a good life. I tend to believe that having a good life is just having enough resources to have enough food and housing for your family - but if you define it that way - jail would also be a good life.  Sometimes people define this life so vaguely and so far away that no one would really be able to have it. It's also easy to see that someone else has the good life that you want - when you see them living it. 

I met a girl once who said the happiest time that she ever had was being homeless in the summer in New York City. She would go back and do it again in a "heartbeat". She had no home and had inconsistent access to food and yet the life that she had there was her favorite life. It was her heaven on earth. To her it was the good life. 

So do you need God to have a good life?

Aaah the God question, always something that comes out in the theological blog. You could cite examples of plenty of people who never had God in their life and had a good life. By that ideal you could probably even find hundreds of people who had what most people would consider a great life, the best of everything, great food, resources, and friends. 

Even with the best of everything in your life without God, without some kind of spiritual basis, life could always be just a little bit better. Each person who lives good lives without God - or without a centered spiritual basis. Just to think of all the practices that are related to spirituality and God - including just taking centering breathes. If you are having the best life on earth, it could always be better some kind of spiritual practice. I am driven by this ideal the ideal that giving spiritual practices, even just being the person that is my own ministry, the ministry of my prescence, makes the people that I encounter and the world that I live in, a much better place.

Signs signs everywhere signs

What gives me the right to do ministry?

What doesn't give me the right? If this is God's business, is he really so booked up that I can't squeeze in? There have been many hours of my life that this thought process has run through me, but the thing is, God needs me more than I need God. In a manner of speaking, and that manner would be, the God business. It's easy for me to look at the many gifts that I have been given and see a clear trajectory towards ministry. I am no kinds of a holy woman who just tries to state that I don't need God or any such nonsense, but I do think that in terms of how churches seem to be falling apart, doesn't God need more advocates, more voices, versus less? So, going by that kind of a cost benefit analysis, God needs me more than I need God.

There have always been a series of qualities I've experienced that have made me feel that I have the right to do ministry. In the church that I grew up in, which is Unity (although recently I did have my hand down when Dr. Tom asked if I was second generation Unity, which I am, because, as per typical Unity seminary and general Unity experience dictates - we make fun of or generally demean those who grew up in Unity). In any case, the church of my childhood certainly states that just by deciding that I am going to do ministry, I have the right for it.

I have had a number of spiritual experiences that have lead me here. Lead me to the feeling of awe and intensity to my certainity of ministry. As I practice my full time ministry now, and watch the lives of teenagers and adult transform using these principles around me, I am certain that I am in the right place. I feel at the end of the day what gives me the right is the fact that I do this work, do a great job at it, and enjoy it. 

Intelligent Design and Spiritual Evolution

Last week in class Dr. Tom asked a question that I find really intriguing which is - are we evolving towards something or are we evolving as a result of stimulus in our enviornment?

I was an outdoor enviornmental educator at one point in my life, and I learned a few things about evolution. One points clearly to the idea that we are really only evolving as a result of stimulus in our envionrment. We have curly hair for example, because we needed to be able to survive cold weather, and curls will hold heat better. We have wisdom teeth because our ansestors didn't have good dental hygene and they lost teeth, so now we have a few extra as a result.

That said, I think of squirrels. Squirrels have a bad memory, and they will only remember, on average, about twenty five percent of the nuts that they hide. The other seventy five percent will become trees. So when you look at that, you realize that squirrels aren't forgetting as a result of something in their enviornment, but there is something bigger at play.

With all of this, I point to intelligent design. In science, that's the idea that there is something bigger that has designed all of this and put everything together. You could almost call it a science God. So, to think of squirrels this way, this is apart of intelligent design. They aren't forgetting the nuts as a result of something in their environment, they are forgetting because this is the design of something greater, something bigger than the squirrels.

I think of our own personal spiritual evolution in this manner. While I may be evolving as a response to something in my enviornment, I believe all of that is pushing me to a bigger and greater evolution. I can see personally how my own spiritual evolution has been in response to stimulus in my enviornment, but also, it has been moving me towards something greater. Something I can't see where I am at, but I feel as I move forward.